Boundaries identify where something starts and where something ends.  For example, targets are not defined by their bulls-eye, they are defined by their edge.  It is this edge that gives the target its identity. Anything that has no Boundary has no identity.  It is the Boundary that brings definition and meaning to the target.

Boundary Theory posits the idea that to know what is acceptable, we must also know what is unacceptable.  It is as important to know when we will say "No" as to know when we will say "Yes."  "Yes's" make up the target, and the edge identifies differentiates them from the "No's."  For example, as an organization, we should know to which potential customers we will say "No." As supervisors, we should know to which recommendations we will say "No." As co-workers or as negotiators, we should know to which options we will say "No."

Much of the struggle of finding a "Yes" is that the "No's" are not clear, and the process that most of us use, rarely leads us to the "No's."  In fact we may find something that looks like a "Yes" but is really a "No," thus wasting much time and resources.

By identifying the Boundaries, we know what is expected of us and what is not.  We know what we expect of others and what we do not.  Boundaries are one of the strongest tools to clarifying relationships and expectations.